If you were gay

Rod: Aaaah...An afternoon alone with my favourite book: "Broadway Musicals of the 1940's" No roommate to bother me. How could it get any better that this? Nicky: Oh, Hi Rod! R: Hi, Nicky. N: Hey Rod. You'll never guess what happen to me in the subway this morning. This guy was smiling at me and talking to me... R: That's very interesting... N: He was being real friendly and I think he was coming on to me. I think he might've thought I was gay! R: Ahem so uh why are you telling me this? Why should I care? I don't care. What did you have for lunch today? N: Oh you don't have to get all defensive about it Rod... R: I'm NOT getting defensive! What do I care about some gay guy you met okay? I am trying to read. N: Oh I didn't mean anything by it Rod. I just think it's something we should be able to talk about. R: I don't want to talk about it Nicky! This conversation is over!!! N: Yeah but... R: OVER!!! N: Well okay but just so you know If you were gay That'd be okay I mean 'cause hey I'd like u anyway Because u see If it were me I would feel free to say That I was gay But I'm not gay R: Nicky please! I am trying to read. What?! N: If you were queer R: Ah Nicky! N: I'd still be here R: Nicky I'm trying to read this book. N: Year after year R: Nicky! N: Beacuse you're dear To me R: Argh! N: And I know that you R: What? N: Would accept me too R: I would? N: If I told you today "Hey guess what I'm gay!" But I'm not gay I'm happy Just being with you R: High Button Shoes, Pal Joey... N: What should it matter to me What you do in bed with GUYS? R: Nicky that's GROSS! N: No it's not! If you were gay... R: Aaaahh... N: I'd shout HOORAY! R: I'm not listening. N: And here I'd stay R: La la la la la N: But I wouldn't get in your way R: Aaaaaaaaaah! N: You can count on me To always be Beside you everyday To tell you it's okay You were just born that way And as they say It's in your DNA You're gay! R: BUT I'M NOT GAY! N: if you were gay. R: Argh!