A fine romance

A fine romance, my good fellow, you take romance, Ill take jello, youre calmer than the seals in the Atlantic Ocean at least they flap their fins to express emotion. A fine romance with no quarrels, with no insults, and all morals, Ive never mussed the crease in your blue serge pants, I never get the chance, this is a fine romance! A fine romance, with no kisses, a fine romance, my friend this is, to lack half the thrills that a healthy crime has, we dont have half the thrills that the march of time has. A fine romance, with no clinches, a fine romance, with no flinches, youre just as hard to land as the Ille de France, I havent got the chance, my heart isnt made of plastic, youre too sarcastic, this is a fine romance!